Copy of About Me | Unconditional

ABOUT

ME

Passionate About Seeing Others Smile

From a young age I observed. Because I struggled with my sexuality I sought approval, in every avenue of life. Seeking acceptance as my main goal in every moment, I watched, listened, learned, and then put into fruition what I thought was the 'right' way to live my life. While this 'worked' for a while, as an adult this unhealthy wiring started to catch up with reality.

Being that much of my life was spent people observing, I developed a mode of hyper vigilance. Because of this, my awareness level and intuition tend to be some of my greatest strengths (I'd probably do well on in the espionage industry). When managing and understanding the needs of my team (family, friends, etc.), when attempting to diffuse a situation where anger is at the forefront, when an individual is feeling lonely and left out, I lead with communication and compassion. Even if the results are not what is wanted the first time around, communication and compassion need to be established at the roots. Communication and compassion need to lay the groundwork.

Coming out of my shell and starting the trek to discovering my true individuality has been a struggle to say the least, and is still an ongoing journey. Growing up in a hetero normative, narrative based society, I had no examples within reach of what it looks like to be a successful gay man in a way that resonated with me. So as I continued to follow the path of how a man is supposed to be and exist in life, I continued to dig an emotional hole for myself. It wasn't until I was a senior in college, ready to graduate and start the rest of my life, when my head was pounding at a strength in which I could no longer handle. Due to the severity of the emotional pain at this point, I was very fortunate that something clicked. I met with the counseling services at my university and grabbed the rescue rope they threw down. I was emotionally and developmentally at the bottom of the pit I dug, and now with their help and the help of others, it was time to start climbing out.

I feel, right now, one of my purposes in life is to throw that rope out for others blindly reaching. To motivate anyone struggling with their identity to seek the guidance and love they need to create self love at their core. This help may come in ways of motivation, therapy, life coaching, or a number of different tools one decides on. Asking for the help you need so you can begin the journey of cultivating self love and ultimately finding your path here on earth is the key to many identity struggles out there.

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are," E. E. Cummings. Find your courage and grab that rescue rope!

My Personal Timeline

2009 - 2011 2012 - 2013 2014 2018 (Summer)

Bachelor's degree in accounting in the Spring.
Backpacked through Europe with best friends in the Summer.
Came out of the closet in the Fall of 2009.
Started my full time job as a financial auditor in the Fall of 2009.
Passed the CPA exam in the Winter of 2010.
Left the accounting world to work for the family meat market in Chicago, IL in 2011 and determine what I wanted to do with my life.

My Mom was diagnosed with recurrent cancer and I spent the bulk of my time developing options for a road to recovery. She is the strongest person I know, a phoenix. Even with her passing in 2016, she still rose from the ashes to bigger and better things.
Created Equality America NFP to promote marriage equality in the U.S. and positive support for the LGBT community at large.

Started seeing my therapist, in order to attain a better life.
Received the "30 under 30" award from the LGBT periodical of Chicago "Windy City Times" for my work with Equality America.
From 2014 - 2018 I ran the sausage kitchen and the accounting department at Paulina Meat Market (6.5 years total at the business).

In January, with the help of my therapist, determined I developed a preoccupied insecure attachment during my childhood years.
In May of 2018, I began to dig the roots for a secure attachment with the world, of course with the help of my therapist.
June of 2018, with security on my team, quit my job and left for a 6 week backpacking trip for SE Asia to continue developing into the secure, compassionate being I am at my roots.

2018 (Fall/Winter) 2019 2014 2018

While researching career options for myself, and still digging deep into building self awareness, I began to work at the lovely coffee chain, Starbucks for an income.
Believing my wiring had greatly evolved, I reached out looking to see if they would take me back, at least for a short term period and got my old job back in the sausage kitchen.

While there was a bit of turmoil at the shop with me getting my old job back as of course things had changed, things slowly started to balance out.
After speaking with my therapist, going to Asia

Started seeing my therapist, in order to attain a better life.
Received the "30 under 30" award from the LGBT periodical of Chicago "Windy City Times" for my work with Equality America.
From 2014 - 2018 I ran the sausage kitchen and the accounting department at Paulina Meat Market (6.5 years total at the business).

In January, with the help of my therapist, determined I developed a preoccupied insecure attachment during my childhood years.
In May of 2018, I began to dig the roots for a secure attachment with the world, of course with the help of my therapist.
June of 2018, with security on my team, quit my job and left for a 6 week backpacking trip for SE Asia to continue developing into the secure, compassionate being I am at my roots.

While graduating with an accounting degree in 2009, and obtaining my CPA in 2010, I left the accounting industry to work for my family's meat market in Chicago, IL in 2011. Now having thrown in my apron from the sausage kitchen, it is time for the next adventure, potentially my fate.

While crunching numbers spoke to me, and wrestling with natural casings peaked my interest, neither was able to fulfill my needs. Throughout most of my life, interestingly enough, one part of my soul has always shined brighter than the rest. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I care about who you are, what you are doing, and how you are doing. Not at the surface level, but deep into your strengths and weaknesses, your tender spots and unique abilities that are hard to reign in on. I struggled with my identity for a large portion of my life, battling my sexuality until coming out at the age of 22. Through the ups and downs of this obstacle, I have found a personal strength. When others struggle with their identity, and feel insecure with who they are, my intuition kicks in. Subconsciously, my nurturing being wakes up and provides comfort, provides security whether or not the recipient realizes it is needed.

Motivation through unconditional love is in my blood. Whether you are struggling with your sexuality or some other part of your individuality, know that I have been there. Through the help of a therapist, my family, and many friends, I have recently gained a security with who I am at my core and a security with the world that no one can ever take away. I know I'm not alone with my struggle, and that causes me great grief. I want to help anyone who is aware of their struggle and willing to dive deep into the roots of their pain.

Currently I'm not a professional in the psychology field, so I cannot act as one, but I can be a middle man. Let me help you discover the path to gaining security with the world. Starting on a new path, in search of discovering your true being will ultimately create a smile and sense of security at your roots which will change your life for the better. Forever!