ABOUT
ME
Passionate About Seeing Others Smile
From a young age I observed. Because I struggled with my sexuality I sought approval, in every avenue of life. Seeking acceptance as my main goal in every moment, I watched, listened, learned, and then put into fruition what I thought was the 'right' way to live my life. While this 'worked' for a while, as an adult this unhealthy wiring started to catch up with reality.
Being that much of my life was spent people observing, I developed a mode of hyper vigilance. Because of this, my awareness level and intuition tend to be some of my greatest strengths (I'd probably do well on in the espionage industry). When managing and understanding the needs of my team (family, friends, etc.), when attempting to diffuse a situation where anger is at the forefront, when an individual is feeling lonely and left out, I lead with communication and compassion. Even if the results are not what is wanted the first time around, communication and compassion need to be established at the roots. Communication and compassion need to lay the groundwork.
Coming out of my shell and starting the trek to discovering my true individuality has been a struggle to say the least, and is still an ongoing journey. Growing up in a hetero normative, narrative based society, I had no examples within reach of what it looks like to be a successful gay man in a way that resonated with me. So as I continued to follow the path of how a man is supposed to be and exist in life, I continued to dig an emotional hole for myself. It wasn't until I was a senior in college, ready to graduate and start the rest of my life, when my head was pounding at a strength in which I could no longer handle. Due to the severity of the emotional pain at this point, I was very fortunate that something clicked. I met with the counseling services at my university and grabbed the rescue rope they threw down. I was emotionally and developmentally at the bottom of the pit I dug, and now with their help and the help of others, it was time to start climbing out.
I feel, right now, one of my purposes in life is to throw that rope out for others blindly reaching. To motivate anyone struggling with their identity to seek the guidance and love they need to create self love at their core. This help may come in ways of motivation, therapy, life coaching, or a number of different tools one decides on. Asking for the help you need so you can begin the journey of cultivating self love and ultimately finding your path here on earth is the key to many identity struggles out there.
"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are," E. E. Cummings. Find your courage and grab that rescue rope!
While graduating with an accounting degree in 2009, and obtaining my CPA in 2010, I left the accounting industry to work for my family's meat market in Chicago, IL in 2011. Now having thrown in my apron from the sausage kitchen, it is time for the next adventure, potentially my fate.
While crunching numbers spoke to me, and wrestling with natural casings peaked my interest, neither was able to fulfill my needs. Throughout most of my life, interestingly enough, one part of my soul has always shined brighter than the rest. I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I care about who you are, what you are doing, and how you are doing. Not at the surface level, but deep into your strengths and weaknesses, your tender spots and unique abilities that are hard to reign in on. I struggled with my identity for a large portion of my life, battling my sexuality until coming out at the age of 22. Through the ups and downs of this obstacle, I have found a personal strength. When others struggle with their identity, and feel insecure with who they are, my intuition kicks in. Subconsciously, my nurturing being wakes up and provides comfort, provides security whether or not the recipient realizes it is needed.
Motivation through unconditional love is in my blood. Whether you are struggling with your sexuality or some other part of your individuality, know that I have been there. Through the help of a therapist, my family, and many friends, I have recently gained a security with who I am at my core and a security with the world that no one can ever take away. I know I'm not alone with my struggle, and that causes me great grief. I want to help anyone who is aware of their struggle and willing to dive deep into the roots of their pain.
Being on the journey of self discovery and relieving myself of plenty of root causes of anxiety, knowing what I know now...I feel it would be a great disservice to keep this energy to myself. Especially hearing from viewers and readers of the vlogs and blogs, that they can relate and the stories have helped them.
Currently I'm not a professional in the psychology field, so I cannot act as one, but I can be a middle man. Let me help you discover the path to gaining security with the world. Starting on a new path, in search of discovering your true being will ultimately create a smile and sense of security at your roots which will change your life for the better. Forever!