Unconditional

You brush it to the side.  You think it's just a phase.  For years you have rejected yourself because you thought part of who you are was wrong, a part of you that must be ignored.  It has taken a huge toll not only on your mental health, but now you have had an eye twitch for 2 years and you are not in the physical shape that you desire.

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Individuality was a foreign concept for most of my life. Oblvious to this truth, I was handed a manual on life as a young child and followed the script to a T. What music to like, how to dress, how to get my haircut, what to laugh at, what my hobbies were. You name it, whether it was actually there or not, I felt the pressure to be a very specific individual to feel safe in this world.

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Have you ever thought about what individuality actually means? Your personal set of likes and dislikes? Did you felt comfortable in the environments you grew up in? How about the environment you are in as an adult, to choose for yourself? To have your own opinions? To utilize your voice freely? Or is there, has there been an outside pressure? To be a certain way, to exist a certain way? To only speak up when you agree with your superiors? Whether as a child or as an adult, no matter what community or culture you are a part of, exist in, there are most likely many pressures to show up a certain way. And if we are being honest with ourselves, some of these are not in line with our individuality.  

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I’m sure not everyone falls into this bucket, and there is nothing right or wrong either way. But if you can resonate with this, do you really want to live the rest of your life continuing to follow a manuscript? If not and you desire change, where is a good place to start a once you are able to acknowledge this truth?

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The answer lies in feeling psychologically safe and being curious again. Once you can find this space, start asking questions…lean into any and all of your curiosities. Try things out. Try new hobbies, ideas, sports, friendships. Revisit old ones that you are not actually sure how you feel about them. Turn the volume down on other aspects of life that do not fill you up, are actually not personal likes of yours no matter how they may have felt in the past or fell now. Giving yourself the time and space to truly learn about who you are regarding a very basic concept but difficult one to revisit as an adult. Your personal likes and dislikes.

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While the outside world and possibly even the narratives within your circle of friends and family might not feel safe to do so, you have the right to explore any aspect of this one life we have that comes your way. We are all so focused on outcomes and we will only benefit from rewiring. Give this journey of curiosities a chance. Given some time on this path, you may end up surprised and more aligned with yourself than you ever have been before. ​

 

Unconditional is an organization that provides content and space for those who may struggle with their individuality. Finding and developing resources which provide unconditional love is absolutely needed for an individual to feel psychologically safe. Even if logically one knows they are safe, due to one’s childhood or other instances in their life, the body doesn’t always agree. If you are someone who struggles with your identity, your individuality, use this content to get a breather and feel psychologically safe, whenever you are in need.